When you decided to join AmeriCorps, what was the reaction of your family and friends?
Well there was excitement and a lot of questions. They had no idea what AmeriCorps was. I told them that I’d be in a school doing something – I didn’t know how to answer that question, honestly. More so, we were just focusing on the opportunity for me to get out of The South and see something different.
I saw this as my one opportunity for me to move, you know, especially across the nation. Just an opportunity to see something different, be in a different spot, different location, different mindset.
I never really went outside of the Southeast [before] , so I really didn’t know much and I had a tunnel vision and a very conservative mindset. So it was an opportunity to see what else is out there.
So you’re a man – and for a lot of men, service is the armed forces and that’s your way to get out of wherever you are. And you chose a different kind of service. Why did you do that?
Well, my brother served in the armed forces and he didn’t have the best experience, so that backed me off. The armed forces in Alabama are always in your face. I’ve seen recruiters at my junior high school. So they start young there and they’re presented that option and because that’s the only option that people know about, that’s the option that they take. This opportunity was just another way.
More after the jump!
Now, you went to college. Did your brother go to college?
No, he didn’t go. He enlisted right out of high school. Honestly, man, if you’re not an athlete or a scholar then you’re screwed. You’re going to stay right there where you are.
AmeriCorps was one of the best decisions. And the support up here – Monda, man. The first conversation, she told me that there were a million ways for me to live my life. And I was like, yeah, there are a million ways. I can do whatever. That perspective really broadened my options. And having other people with me, alongside me. We’re all in this together, figuring this out.
How have you changed since coming out here?
My mindset. There are people here who are very open-minded. They will bounce off new ideas and… challenge things. I come from a background where *smacks his hands* that’s the way we’ve always done it. You know, that’s how Grandmamma did it and that ‘s the way it’s done. Up here it’s not like that. They’ll challenge you and say, why? They’ll ask those questions. It’s more encouraged to ask. Know why you’re doing what you’re doing.
What did you think service was going to be like?
Man, I had no idea what service was going to be like. It was a blank slate. Like, when we had orientation and we were dancing [together]– Laughs. I was like, what are we doing? Where am I right now? All I knew was that I was going to be in a classroom. That’s all I knew. I didn’t know what that was going to look like. Never been in the classroom – on this side of it. Only been a student. Totally different.
What was the hardest/easiest thing to adjust to?
What was the hardest to adjust to? The stipend was a major adjustment for me. I was making way more before, you know? The thing about the stipend was that I still had bills to pay. That was an adjustment. That was hard. I had to learn how to budget my money way better. Cut corners – every corner. It was kind of hard to leave home for me because I was so grounded with my family. It was hard and even though I wanted to be the person with the accent - it was hard to come up here to the northwest, man, different culture. Completely different. That was an adjustment. That was hard.
Did you feel like an outsider?
I felt isolated. I felt like I couldn’t be completely me. Even now, I still have to work on my language, like, the way I talk. I didn’t realize how much slang – back home it was everyday talk! There’s a different lingo, there’s a different language.
The use of that language-- My enunciation, man - down south we slur. I would talk and no one would understand. And that would frustrate me and I would be like, man you know what I’m just going to shut down. I’m not going to talk. And then I’d be like, man I can do that. I can‘t be here and not talk. That’s crazy. This is what you wanted….
Being in a classroom was an adjustment. Winning kids through a relationship instead of discipline was hard. Being vulnerable in front of students was hard. Being willing to be silly and just show them – it’s ok, that was hard for me. Being the only black male. Last year there was another black male, but I felt like he was in a different culture.
Where was he from?
He was from here. And so the struggles that I grew up with and the stereotypes that I grew up with, the defensive mechanisms that I had and didn’t even know about until I got here, it was different, and it was a shock.
Up here, I really felt like, it was my first time being viewed as a man, and not a black man and not just… a n*****. Pardon, but that’s for real. Back home they treat you different. Back home I had a lady see me, grab her kid and run away. Racism is still alive down there, you know what I’m saying and being up here is way different.
How has AmeriCorps changed your life’s trajectory?
Well, I’m going to pursue teaching now. Before it wasn’t even a position I aspired to. But, being in this service and seeing the impact, and the need as well, you know, it inspired me. And I feel like kids need it. And what I have, I feel like they need. They need my stories, they need my experience, they need my teaching abilities…and I need them in the same regard. So I think that it definitely has, definitely has changed – I was not thinking about teaching at all! So it definitely has changed my course.
I think it’s interesting because before I came here I saw teaching in a very different way as well. I think it’s really impactful to have our first experiences with teaching through service. So you see teaching as a service rather than a paycheck.
Yeah! Exactly. I’m going in to it because of the service aspect, not the career, not the money. Which is so amazing because that is a mindset that has changed for me. Because I was so money oriented, I was like, “if it’s not paying it’s not me”. But having gone through service, that’s what I’m about, man. I want to help people. I want to help youth! I want to stand in the gap and be that person, be that bridge and be that reference point. “Go this way. Don’t do that.” So, teaching, that field has that opportunity. I’m surrounded by kids. Every kid that I can hit, man. If there’s just one, that’s one life I’ve changed. That’s one kid that won’t have go through what I went through. That’s one kid that won’t be locked up, because I have so many people that I know that are locked up. Half of my graduating high school class is locked up or dead. Because we just didn’t have any adults. They’d just pass us along to get us out of the classroom because we were so bad, you know? Being the bad student, being the naughty student, and being the disruptive kid - I was that and I want to go back in and those are the kids I’m going to go after.
What are you going to teach your daughter about service?
I’m going to teach my daughter that it’s not about her. That it’s all about the person you’re serving. And, not to serve that person the way that you think they should be served, but ask them how they want to be served. I think that that’s huge. Because then you’ll know what they need and how to service them. And to let her know that it’s not about you – but it is about you – but it’s not. And what that means is that it’s about you in the aspect of how you do it and not to over exert yourself. You’ve got to have those boundaries – you can only do so much, but then it’s not about you in the way that don’t let that be the excuse of why you don’t. Don’t let the fact that you know you need to be there at 8:00 and you’re tired – so what! They need you right now. I think that’s going to be huge for her. I don’t think that’s being taught. This has just changed me completely. I’m definitely going to pass that down in my lineage and I want her to pass that down to hers. So everybody that comes after me will have that understanding, to be that person that changes the world.
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